They are excited too and just want to help. Be polite and gracious, but
firm when telling them the decisions you and your fiancée have made. Of
course this is easier said than done with future in-laws. But this is your
day and your money probably, so being able to maintain control over the
budget is not only important emotionally, but could cause problems with
being able to pay the bills. Talk with your future spouse about the best
way to deal with his parents.
What do the parents
pay for traditionally?
Bride and Family
Groom and Family
Marriage License, Officiant
Flowers: Church, Reception, Bridesmaids, Flowergirls
Bridal Bouquet and all other corsages and boutonnieres
Invitations and Programs
Bridesmaids and Groomsmen get their own
clothes and shoes.
Maid of honor and bridesmaids have the bridal shower for the bride.
Best man and groomsmen have the bachelor party for the groom.
Engagement parties can be hosted by either side.
Talk about Money before you get married
We all know that money is the number one
reason for divorce. So nip that problem in the bud early by sitting down
and planning a budget, not only for the wedding but for your household.
How much will the income be monthly? How will you decide who pays the
bills? Will it be based in proportion to the size of your incomes? What
about big purchase items? How much will you save and how much will you
spend on fun items like entertainment and travel? Ask about his credit and
any student loans. This will come up anyway when you want to buy a house.
You need to know where you stand financially, especially as you start to
plan your wedding budget. Will you put the items on credit cards or go
into your savings? Its a tough call, so get out a calculator and start
hashing out the details.
Not enough money for
a big wedding? Don't get upset, Get creative!
First set priorities on your budget. What is
more important, a bunch of flowers or a nice honeymoon, or expensive food,
or the best band. Then cut back areas that aren't at the top of the list.
Here are some ideas:
~Have the reception in your back yard (have a tent
available for backup)
~Kroger has nice flowers, Nurseries have nice
flowers. Schedule a best bud to grab some fresh ones on Wedding Day
morning and run them over to the reception place and church
~Lunch costs less than dinner catered. Buffets are less than served meals.
Ask about liquor costs, overtime, tipping, cake, insurance, and menus.
~Ask around to see about bands and DJs. Or have a friend with a good sound
system and a great personality be your DJ to coordinate songs and
~Print your own invitations. Staples and Walmart have the paper to print.
~Saturday nights are most popular for weddings. Shoot for Friday night or
~ But DON'T SKIMP ON PHOTOGRAPHY if photos are important to you. Even if
they aren't, it will probably be important to your kids someday. You can't
go back and get more pictures later.
Cashing in on a New Home:
It is proper and acceptable to
answer "Actually what we would really like is cash for a down payment on a
house" when asked what you want as a gift. Call me for details on
paperwork when applying for a loan. I help first time homebuyers all the
I can connect you with a
lender that has all the information you need on registering and
accepting gifts that go towards the down payment for your house. A new
home to start your new family is the best gift of all!
Get wedding gifts for your new kitchen and have a bridal shower all at the
Lisa Dassell can help you or your Maid of Honor host a Pampered Chef
party. Here is her information:
(502) 327-8703 (day)
(502) 338-8828 (evening)